There are many myths, traditions and thoughts that are attached to the wedding industry that I personally cannot stand. One of them is that a wedding day is the bride’s special day and that grooms aren’t interested in all this wedding ‘stuff’ and are very happy to just rock up on time (in the suit that you picked for him).

This may be true in some cases but I call BS on this as a general mind set!

I have worked with many grooms who are as excited about their wedding as their brides. They have brilliant ideas and contribute plenty of time and emotion into the planning build up. I mean look at Jacques from our East London elopement feature he planned the entire thing for Katie and loved doing it!

So why does this uninterested, uninvolved groom myth exist?

Well from what I have seen there are two main reasons:

1- We as an industry and society have given brides permission (and sometimes even encouraged them) to adopt the bratty version of ‘princess for a day’ character.

2- By going in expecting our men to fail at their duties as a groom or fellow wedding planner, we inadvertently encourage and allow them to shrink back and do less. We create a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t want to feel special on your wedding day..heck if I did I would be out of a job! What I am saying though is that we need to stop looking at our wedding day as free pass to be bratty and entitled. Your wedding day is the start of your journey and it is special..oh my gosh it is special..but nowhere near as special as the person you are marrying!

So how do you stop down playing your grooms role and importance in your wedding planning process? How do you get him to stand up and be a present, equal partner?
Well first you need to answer these 6 tough questions:

  • Do you feel like you are doing it all?
  • Are you doing it all because you think you can’t trust anyone else to do it to your standard?
  • Is your fiancé totally not interested in the details of the day?
  • Do you secretly feel like this is your one big day to be the center of attention?
  • Do you wish your groom/mother/best friend/auntie would do more?
  • Are you actually scared of getting married or the wedding day?


Did you say yes to any of those questions?

Well then you need to take action and start exploring the answers that will be in our next weeks post – I call BS on the myth that grooms aren’t interested in their wedding day prep.

These are big questions with big answers so take this time to give them a good think and then meet me back here on Monday 8 am for the answers.

love Rebecca1




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