When I tell people I’m a wedding planner, one of the first questions I get is about how many bridezillas I work with… Luckily, we can count our blessings every day that the couples who choose to work with Runaway Romance are super chilled people who just want to celebrate their love. They don’t want all of the fanfare and drama that sometimes goes with a wedding.
Because I (for obvious reasons) am always searching for anything wedding related, my searches are inundated with adverts, articles and videos about anything related to weddings. Lately, I have been shown countless feeds about bridezillas. The crazy, obvious and obnoxious bridezillas. But, the ones you actually need to watch for are the quiet, non-tantrum throwing brides who can make a planner’s life very difficult.
Before we go on, I’m not talking about you… but if this makes you think, perhaps you need to take a step back ?
The traditional bridezillas
Wedding planning is stressful, but it doesn’t mean you can lose all sense of fairness and manners.
It’s not ok to message your planner in the middle of the night and expect a response straight away… we also need sleep. Like it’s not fair to expect all of your suppliers to be working 24/7 just for you.
It’s also not ok to be rude to anyone involved, from suppliers to staff. These are people who are there to make sure your day is perfect and to keep you happy. The least you could do is treat them well, it really goes a long way and they may even go out of their way for you and your special day.
The indecisive bride
This bride has a general idea about what she wants for her wedding. Things are agreed on such as pastel sunset tones for the colour palette, no roses, a naked carrot cake with fresh fruit as decoration and no formal seating plan for guests.
A venue is booked, a photographer is booked, invoices start to come in. But wait! Suddenly, a month before the wedding, she has a change of heart… she’s been onto Pinterest (both a blessing and a curse to wedding planners!) and has decided that she only wants roses, and they must all be light purple, a two tier chocolate ganache, fully iced cake and a whole lot of things that need to be printed. She also wants a different venue (an hour away from the original one) and photographer and to add a videographer. Obviously the 3 suppliers that get booked quickly and need more lead time.
Then, a week before the wedding, she’s still on Pinterest and wants to add this and add that. What about a laser cut wooden welcome sign for guests, with matching seating cards and thank you labels for the (surprise) guest gifts? What about a floral arch at the altar? It’s at this stage that you just need to take deep breaths and go with the flow. Eventually, “NO” becomes your most used word.
You’re going to change your mind (in fact, it’s a given), but do it during the planning phase and with some time to spare and also before you’ve booked everyone and paid your deposits.
The unrealistic bride
It sometimes happens that you get someone who knows exactly what they want, but it can be very unrealistic in terms of budget and probability. You also need to keep in mind that wedding planners have a lot of experience and can advise on you on your decisions… just one of the reasons we get hired.
A bride wants a floral runner on the table with hydrangeas and peonies (like Kim Kardashian had at one of her baby shower’s) and the budget is R3000. Typically, you’d have to import the flowers and floral runners use a lot of flowers… if you’re lucky, you could do one small, short one for about R5000 and she wants 5 long ones… so no, not going to happen!
Or how about arriving bareback on a horse, when you’ve ridden a horse once as a kid. Or releasing butterflies as confetti (chances are the majority of them will die first 🙁 ) or an ice sculpture outside during the middle of summer?
Asking the (historic) venue to change the décor in the room you booked because you don’t really like the vintage look of the room? And is there a chance the colour of the curtains could be changed or the curtains could be taken down? Or how about wanting a fire in the fireplace but without the smell of burning wood?
Worse than a single bridezilla, is a family of them. The mother, the sister, the auntie, all have an opinion and are adamant about what they want for (the brides’) wedding. They insist on a full buffet and bar service, they want floral arches, seven bridesmaids and a stretch limo for them to arrive in and they aren’t the ones who are paying for it!?
Often the bride to just goes along with this because who has the energy to fight for a simple wedding when you are so busy with life in general? Do you really want to fight about these things with a gang of women who are subconsciously planning their own wedding?
They aren’t as common as bridezillas, but they do exist. Some men just love to get super involved in wedding planning and thrive on the control involved. The worst is when the groom decides what happens on HIS special day and doesn’t let the bride have much of a say in the details. This is the beginning of a lifelong partnership, so that’s really not a good way to start it!
Of course, you also get the groom’s that want to do something spectacular and crazy, like arrive in a helicopter or get married in a hot air balloon, get married by Darth Vader, but they’re usually pretty easy to talk some sense into. You’ll find a lot of these guys on Don’t Tell the Bride 🙂
So the moral of this story is just relax, take rescue drops and a lavender bath if you need to! If you have hired a wedding planner and put your trust in them, they will take care of everything… as long as you listen to them and take their advice – this is what they do!