“Uncle so and so and Great aunt, once removed, on your father’s side, Betty….. You swam in her pool when you were two… Can’t you remember?”

We have all been there (or you will soon be there) those ‘who do we invite’ conversations that seem to include everyone’s opinions. We all go into them thinking how hard could it be? And normally come out of them wanting to strangle a prominent family member, spouse-to-be, self or all three.

You see weddings are a time when family want to show how proud they are of you. Mom and Dad want to show off what a brilliant child you are (because I mean look at you.. you’re flippen incredible) and that traditionally means getting a big ol’ crowd together for your wedding day.

Now you know I personally prefer smaller more intimate weddings (it allows you to go to places like this or do something special like this) BUT unless you are one of the brave few who can actually elope in the true sense ie. Just the two of you, you will at some point have to decide on who gets an invite to your wedding and who doesn’t.

Now the honest truth is the “they probably won’t be able to come anyway” line is a lie, so at the point where proud Mom or proud Dad (bless their souls) are wood pecking you to near death, making you agree to do the courtesy invite to every extended family member they can come up with don’t give in… because they will come!

How do I know?

Because it is a wedding and nobody, I mean nobody wants to miss the one day when two people who love each other tie the knot. It’s emotional, it’s beautiful, it’s fun and it’s just one of those magic moments in time that nobody wants to miss… everybody wants a little bit more beauty, fun and magic in their lives so you better believe they are arriving +1 in tow.

Now as lovely as it is to give that experience to someone if your budget, emotional, mental or any other capacity can’t afford to do it then you really shouldn’t risk the courtesy invite. Maybe you could afford to invite them and you just don’t want to…that’s ok too!

So before you say yes to get that woodpecker off your back, be realistic and honest with yourself, your budget and your core wants for the day. Make the hard decision and with respect say NO.

You will thank yourself when you don’t have to fake a smile and thank Uncle so and so and Great Aunt Betty “for coming all this way” while secretly loathing them for eating into your honeymoon budget.

Did you do the ‘courtesy invite’? Any tips on how to cut down numbers while still keeping the peace? Please share with me and the other couples going through this stage of their planning in the comments below.

OR even better save a couple you know who may be thinking of doing the courtesy invite for their wedding by sharing this article on their facebook page or email.

Much love

love Rebecca1



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