So if you’ve ever been to my house and I’ve offered you tea, and you had the seemingly innocent reply of “I’ll have normal tea please” I would have given you this speech already. For those of you who haven’t been to my house for tea, and I’m assuming or at least hoping that’s the majority of you unless it’s only my mom reading these posts in which case Hi mom, here is my ‘normal tea’ theory.

What you do and what becomes your norm is greatly determined by what you and your closest do often enough to make that a set standard.

I first realised this early on in our marriage when I started doing groceries for our house and I would get questioned on why I was buying this brand of mayo, washing powder and peanut butter. My reason, because that’s what my mom always used to buy. I grew up with it and didn’t even second guess carrying on the brand tradition. There may or may not have also been a threat of “if you don’t like it feel free to do the groceries yourself” but that’s not part of the tea theory so moving on.

Tea is exactly the same.

You’ve always had Rooibos, I’ve always had Earl grey. These are our, very different, normal teas. We both have our standards of normal based on what we grew up with and what we choose to stick with.

So what does tea and wedding planning really have in common?

Well a heck of a lot if you consider the chances are you will most likely choose your wedding without thinking twice, out of pure habit and tradition. This can sometimes lead to a stressful and disappointing wedding day, or at best a bad tea break.

How many people choose their wedding days based on the norm of what they have always known. Based on what mom did or cousin so and so, or even what they see around them in magazines and blogs by the thousands?

I did.

The traditional venue with a set amount of guests and a three course meal with wine on the table was my Earl grey. I didn’t know I had an alternative option and to their defense neither did any of the people advising me. This was our norm.

So what can you do to avoid a knee jerk decision when it comes to your wedding day choices?

Most importantly don’t define your wedding until you have really looked into what normal means to you and your partner. Be honest with each other about what kind of day you want, the people you want {or don’t want } to share it with and where your priorities are.

Ask if you are making the choices you are because you want to or because you feel you have to.

There are so many options and alternatives to keep your day focused and about what you really want and love. Don’t settle until you have at least given the other options a look.

I mean do you really want that cup of Rooibos? Or do you secretly want to try some Spiced Chai?

love Rebecca1

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