*The second part to our interview with the amazing Angelo and his perspective on wedding planning. If you missed the first one HERE it is.*
RR: Is there anything about the wedding planning, wedding day or marriage that scares you?
A: I’ve just spent a week searching for an apartment for us in Italy, and I still haven’t found anything!!
So yes, life in a foreign country on our own scares me a bit, but at the same time I know we will make a way and I know it will only bring us closer together. (Fingers crossed for that dream apartment)
RR: Are there things about the wedding planning that you haven’t wanted to be involved in? Why?
A: I have been involved in every aspect in one-way or the other. I had to restrain myself from asking too many questions about the dress. That was one area I had to stay out of.
RR: So obviously everyone’s relationship is different and you can only tell us about yours, but do you think the way a couple handles their wedding planning is a good indication on how they will work as a team later on in marriage
A: Yes, I really do.
I’ve found the wedding prep to be practice for marriage. We had to communicate on a new level to coordinate our thoughts and desires. And just like marriage you have to make compromises and find a way to be happy despite differing views.
It opened our eyes and showed us where we are lacking with communication and expressing feelings, and we can work on that now before we get married. I think wedding planning is a mini marriage on its own.
RR: Is there anything you have learnt about your bride to be through planning your wedding?
A: The greatest thing I’ve learnt about Courts is that no matter how impossible things seem or how stressful life may get she will do absolutely anything to be with me.
Wedding planning can bring out those areas of a persons character which you don’t see in less pressured situations. I’ve learnt that she wants me to be happy in every decision she makes.
I have also learnt that we deal with stress in completely different ways and more importantly I’ve learnt how not to do or say things that increase the stress for her.
So I’ve learnt a lot about her but I would say I’ve learnt more about us and how I can support her best.
RR: Are there any thoughts or encouragement you would like to share with other guys out there wondering about getting married or grooms going through their wedding planning?
A: I think the best advice I received when I was contemplating proposing and mentioned it to a few men I really respect was “GO FOR IT”.
You will never be financially ready for marriage or you will never be ready for marriage in general. It is a process; it is something you grow into daily. If you are waiting until you are ready you might wait forever and life, or the girl whose heart you have been honored with protecting, will pass you by. She deserves your very best.
RR: Anything on your chest you feel you didn’t get off?
A: We live in a progressive society. Perspectives are constantly changing with the times, and I love that, but when it comes to marriage I feel we could really benefit from being a bit old school. It worked for our parents and they raised a generation we can be proud of.
Somewhere along the line exclusivity and love have lost out to instant gratification and selfish desire. Realistic love is a choice. It is not a feeling that fades, that feeling is called infatuation.
I’m still very much infatuated with Courts but it’s important that we are realistic about the fact that one day, 10 or 20 years down the line, it’s not going to be like that, and that is when true love happens.
When a man needs to continue to pursue his wife, to win her over and to make her fall in love with him each and every day.
True love is a decision to put someone else above yourself despite your feelings. It is hard work, and at times it is messy and exhausting but it takes care of someone else’s needs.
I may not like Courtney every day of our marriage but I hope and pray that I will make the choice to love her with a renewed, unconditional love that begins every morning and is not dependent on what Courtney did or did not do the previous day.
The way I see it, I’ve chosen to love this one person for the rest of my life, and the only way to succeed at that is to love her with an unconditional love. A love that doesn’t keep score of right or wrong, but a love that exists simply because I made a promise to love her day in and day out.
And who benefits most from that kind of love? I think I would ultimately because she would find it easy to be the best version of herself knowing that she has an unconditional love and acceptance to fall back on.
How involved do you think a groom should be in the wedding planing? Put your thoughts out there in the comments below! I would love to see them!